Well, it's Christmas

Here we are, Christmas is almost behind us.  I've been thinking of so many of you, my dear friends, today.  I have friend who's babies have died or mothers, or someone close to them this year and it's you who's been on my heart.  I've also thought about my own baby.  As I was singing to my sweet A tonight, putting her to sleep, I began crying as I thought about how I could also be singing to my sweet little Nathaniel.  I about busted up crying in church last night, thinking how it'd be his first Christmas and seeing other little babies who were celebrating their first Christmas.  It is just not easy, is it?  As we ate dinner I pondered how I'd maybe be nursing our little babe at the same time.  It was a busy morning with presents and a quiet day otherwise, but there were moments where I thought of my precious baby and wondered how this day would be different with him here.  I'm really thankful this year is almost over...2010 has been a very difficult trying year.  I'm praying 2011 will be filled with so many wonderful, new beginnings.  God is good.  I'm thankful for all He's taught me this year through losing Nathaniel.  I just pray I always remember and carry the things with me.  Merry Christmas to you all!  I say this with a somewhat heavy heart as I know it's maybe not as merry as it 'could' be.