The Big T

Tomorrow is our first 'big' holiday to face without Nathaniel.  Not that we had the chance to have any with him.  That's just the point.  I tried inviting numerous people over.  It's difficult living here.  No military (well there are military but they all are FROM Iowa).  No family.  All the people here have family somewhat nearby.  We tried to open up our home to some college students, but apparently they were all able to go home or elsewhere.  I remember in college various families having us students over for special holidays if we didn't make it home.  And those times impacted me.  I'd love to do the same!  I think especially more so this year.  I just didn't want to be 'alone' where I'll have the chance to dwell on it.  Not like I won't be busy- I'll be cooking up a delicious feast for my hubby, children and I.  But, the thought of the emptiness.  How I could be hustling around getting dinner and juggling a baby :)  I sure long for that!  Holidays just are difficult enough for us, with no family nearby to celebrate with.  I grew up surrounded with family on the holidays!  I hate that my children miss out on that!  It's almost just like another day around here, besides all the food!  But now, as we ponder not just an empty spot where one baby should be, but three....it will just be a sore spot.  But we'll remember.  And we'll celebrate.  And stuff ourselves.  I hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving.  And for my friends who have lost loved ones please know I'm thinking of you too!!