It's Approaching

The approaching holidays haven't really hit me yet, although today was a bit more difficult.  I began thinking about Thanksgiving.  We'll probably be spending it alone, although we've opened it up to various people who may have nowhere to go.  It's hard enough spending holidays without family, but when there's an emptiness, when you know you should also have a new family member to celebrate the day, it makes it even more difficult.  Then this afternoon I was walking around Kohl's.  I had to walk past the baby section to get to my two year old's size and I tried to not look, but of course I saw the baby boy "My First Christmas" clothes and tried to quickly turn my thoughts elsewhere.  Sigh.  Then I was thinking of a friend, who will be celebrating her son's first Christmas and how I wish I were also celebrating our son's first Christmas.  I guess there is no easy way around it.  I just hate that we have to be here and wish we could be joyfully holding our baby boy and dreaming of his first Christmas with us.  I know he's in a much better place and will be celebrating with the Reason we have Christmas- Jesus!  How blessed he is!!!