Grief, that is. Yesterday I was driving to see my counselor in Des Moines. Yes, I see a counselor. I probably have like 8 sessions left. I can't remember if I've posted in the past about it. Anyway, I digress. As I was driving I had to pass the exit for the hospital. It just choked me up. To think that any day now if things were different I could be on the way there to meet our little boy. It just totally struck me. Today I was thinking what a great day I'm having. The sun is shining, we finished most of our school before lunch (that always constitutes a good day in my book) and I just felt pretty good. Well, somewhere out of the blue in crept a thought. I can't even remember what that thought was now. Something about my baby or being pregnant or of that nature. It just hits. Out of nowhere! I know I've said it before. Before I knew it I had a few tears in my eyes. I imagine I'll be this way over the next few weeks as my 'due date' approaches. Which is why I decided to continue seeing the counselor for now. It just helps to go and talk to somebody about it.
Two weeks. My 'due date' is two weeks from today. I dread it. And two of the gals in the Bible study I'm in are also going to be having tough weeks ahead...one was due a week after me and the other miscarried last year right around the same time. So I imagine there will be some tough times ahead, some weepy posts. But I just want to be honest. We're not alone in our grief. It stinks that others are here or have been here or will be here but it is reassuring to know what we're feeling is normal. I can still say, "God is good"
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