One Big Fat Huge SIGH August 4, 2010

• I hate that I'm doing this in bullets but I have so much to say and this is the easiest way to do so.
• Today marks 4 years that I miscarried baby "Grace". It also was the due date for Malachi. He would be three. Tough day.
• Yesterday marked 2 months since Nathaniel was delivered.
• We were told last Wednesday that Zach was going to be deployed and had to leave THAT weekend. We got the training pushed back to the end of August. He's supposed to train for 2 months and then go straight overseas for 9 MONTHS. What a cruel joke.
• I broke down and called Military One Source. I talked to a counselor and she hooked me up with a local one. I have an appointment next week.
• Some people associated with his work are trying to work to get him taken off of this since we just lost our baby 2 months ago. I had to go to the doctor and we had to go to Offutt AFB today to talk to a Major about everything. So, some people are at bat for us in that this is the worst time possible to deploy.
• We know his time is coming and we're ok with that. It's just now is the time I need him most. He is such a HUGE help with the kids and emotionally he's my rock right now. I fear I'd really fall apart if he left (I'm barely hanging on some days). So the timing in this whole thing just rots.
• It's been trial after trial after trial and I'm exhausted on 100 different levels.
• We got to go to our first M family reunion in Michigan. It was fun. We could've done without the bee sting which sent me going 80 down this little ol' highway to get Zach to the ER. Now he has to carry an Epi Pen. It was great meeting some family I've never met and seeing some old faces!
• We stayed in Green Bay one night on the way up and on the way back home. We got to go to the Packer Training camp one night. That was pretty neat!
• H began softball practice tonight. She was nervous, but eventually she began to get it as they taught them throwing and catching.
• I'm sure there's like 100 more things I could tell you but my mind is so full of mush these days I just can't think straight. One day I'll get back to normal, huh? Please tell me so!