March 10, 2007

I know that Zach updated everybody last night (thanks, honey). This is an email I sent out and instead of retyping everything I'm just going to post it here. Thank you for all of your prayers!


I know I quickly updated some of you on Wed. before I went to the hospital. Thursday afternoon, March 8 at 3:35 pm Central time we met our beautiful baby that the Lord blessed us with for such a short time while he was alive in my womb. This has been a long journey but the Lord has carried us through. The two prayers I could pray- that the baby would be delivered intact and that we could tell the sex- were answered. We named him Malachi Robert. Malachi means my messenger. I believe that even in the short 14 weeks that he grew within my womb and the time he stayed there until his physical body was delivered into this world that he sent a message. I know many people wondered about my waiting instead of carrying through with a procedure. There is no doubt in my mind I did exactly what the Lord led me to do. Malachi's life was a testament that life- no matter how short lived- within the womb is indeed life. We were and still are so blessed by this precious baby. And while the healing of our hearts will take time, we know that he is in a much better place where he will wait for us.

It is now Saturday and I finally was able to come home today. You see, I was induced again Thursday morning with Cytotec as my body was finally showing signs of the time being near. It took effect right away! Afterwards I was losing a lot of blood and they had to do an emergency D&C. But, praise GOD that our baby was delivered into the doctors hands before I needed to go to the OR! The D&C went fine, but the next morning my blood levels were real low. The doctor said if they'd gotten any lower that I would have died. So then I needed a blood transfusion. It was a long time to spend in the hospital. I was in such good hands though- the doctor and nurses were wonderful (it was a different doctor than the first time and that as a blessing also). I kept waiting for it all to hit me. I'd have times of tears and sadness, but it didn't really hit until this morning when I knew I'd be walking away with an empty womb and empty arms. It is not easy, but still I feel the Lord's loving embrace.

We meet with the funeral home on Monday to make arrangements. I want to thank each of you for your prayers, your love and encouragement. Without you the road wouldn't be so bearable.